Geeky Gaming Mama

Joy of Love week one!

2011-02-06T05:44:00.000-08:00

I'm taking part in The Joy of Love which is a free online photography course for the month of February. I'm very much a beginner when it comes to photography and can't afford a lot of expensive equipment so I'm doing it with my iPhone 4, my bargain Sony Cybershot that I picked up on Ebay for £26, and free online editing tools from Picasa and Picnik. So don't expect professional quality photos, but I'm doing this to have fun and learn!
I'm going to post the week's photos each weekend, hope you enjoy.

Day 01 - What They Do

This can apply to anything your loved ones “do”….what do they do for work? What do they do for play? What chores do they do around the house? Find something they “DO” and document it.

Seamus is a complete boobaholic. Apologies for the poor quality but this was taken with my iPhone4 as my cybershot battery broke a few days into the course! The lighting was poor so it's a bit grainy.

Day 02 - How They Look

Capture your loved one at their best (or at their worst). Or both. What you’re trying to capture is the TRUE essence/expression/attitude/posture that SCREAMS your loved one!

This is Seamus showing off his beautiful smile. He wasn’t feeling awfully smiley today due to being poorly so it took a bit of coaxing (and some tickling) but we got there.

Day 03 - Then and Now

How long have you known your loved one? What has changed since you first met him or her? Try to capture this change in photos.

Seamus at minutes old in the first photo, and last week (almost 4 yo) in the second.

Day 04 - What they Wear

Photograph your loved one’s clothes (either on him or in the closet). This can be when they are dressed up or dressed down.

Seamus is obsessed with Star Wars at the moment and owns lots of apparel like this! This is probably his favourite (and also captures his personality well,I think!)

Day 05 - Love to Hate

Hate is a kind of strong word for this, but I always swore I wouldn't buy toy guns for my children. then I gave birth to 2 little boys and learned that if you don't buy guns for them, they make their own.

Day 06 - Who They Love

Besides you, who is the apple of his eye? Is it your dog, the kids, his parents, his sibling? Document them with their loved one! If the loved one is not close by, then have them hold a photo of their “beloved”…this can also work for loved ones who have passed away.

They may fight, but Seamus adores his older brother, Noah.

Welcome to my pity party.

2010-12-05T05:49:00.001-08:00

Whine ahead. Feel free not to read if you want. I’m just letting it out.

In the January of 2006 I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. Three weeks later the day of my follow up appointment at the doctors, my husband told me his niece was pregnant - due just a few weeks after I would have been. The feeling of despair post loss knowing I would have to watch her the whole pregnancy knowing it should have been me was just awful.

It became a little easier when I became pregnant again with Seamus the following June. But I admit I totally avoided her for that first few months because I just couldn’t handle it. She got offended because I stayed away and stopped speaking to me. Our relationship is still strained now.

Those of you that know me well will be aware I had a traumatic loss in July this past year at 21 weeks. My baby was due in November, and I was really hoping to be pregnant again by now however my body just isn’t co-operating and I am still even after five months awaiting my first period. It sucks.

This morning we get a big announcement that my husband’s niece is pregnant again, and she is due in July 2011. So yet again I get to watch her, and this time she is due around the time that we will be facing the first anniversary of Finn’s death. This is going to suck, and probably going to cause another big rift in the family as she, and no one else his side, is going to understand why I’m avoiding her like the plague. But what can I do.

Formula company website giving misinformation to breastfeeding mothers

2010-07-31T12:35:00.000-07:00

You might remember this website, it was set up as some sort of response to the Ban the Bags campaign. It's funded by the Infant Formula Council, and they state that banning formula samples in hospitals is "withholding information and support from new moms". Way to entirely miss the point.

Anyway, I stumbled on their site today and found a section entitled "Ask RN" where a lady named Barbara Dehn is giving advice to mothers on breastfeeding and formula feeding. Some of the advice is fine, other is extremely suspect and some outright damaging. Take this gem:

noah
From ghana

my baby is 3 days old, but the mother don't have breast milk can i feed him with formula

Most moms find that their milk doesn't "come in" until day 4-5. I would suggest that you continue to put the baby to the breast every 2 1/2 to 3 hours around the clock. If the baby is making wet diapers (5-7) day, then they are getting nourishment. If there aren't wet diapers, then by all means supplement with properly prepared formula and talk to your baby's doctor or midwife.

No mention of colostrum, and the wet nappy advice is wrong, wrong, wrong. A 3 day old baby would be expected to have 3 wets in a 24 hour period. Not 5-7.

Sara Calloway
From Ohio

I am really stressed out about my 4 month old's weight. We were at the pediatrician's today and she weighs 11 pounds 5 ounces and is 33.5". She is exclusively breastfed and seems happy but the pediatrician wants me to start supplementing her with formula. My lactation consultant, on the other hand, says that she is eating plenty and just seems to be on the small side. She feels supplementing my daughter won't make her consume more, she'll just get less breastmilk.

She has about 9 wet diapers a day, and poops every day or two, so I'm pretty sure I have enough milk. She eats about 8 times a day and 1 or 2 times at night. She does not seem unhappy, her hair is shiny, skin is soft, and eyes are moist. She is alert, rolls over both ways, and if we sit her up, she'll stay unsupported for a several seconds.

The pediatrician sent me home with samples of formula but I don't want to introduce those risks unless I truly have to. I wasn't worried before but now I feel like maybe I'm starving her. Is her weight normal? She was 7lbs 1 oz at birth and 20" long.

I'm just very confused over the conflicting advice and I'd like a variety of opinions to help me decide what's truly best for her.

Thanks in advance!

This is a very good question. The average weight for a 4 month old who was born on time is 14 lbs. Your daughter's weight puts her at the 10th percentile. You didn't mention how tall you and your husband are. You say that she's 33.5 inches long, but I'll bet you mean 23.5. If that's the case then, her length is also in the 10th percentile. It's very possible that she is just a small child and will continue to be small throughout her life.
Here's what I know from almost 30 years as a nurse.
You can bring your daughter to your lactation consultant and weigh her before you feed and after to see how much she's drinking. You can also offer her some pumped milk to see if she's still hungry after a feeding session at the breast. If you do need to use formula, I want to reassure you that it is a safe and healthy option that many moms use, because they can't exclusively breast feed. Formulas today are designed to be closer to breast milk than ever before. Yes, you're right, breast milk is ideal, but if you have to use formula, you can rest assured that this is a safe nutritious source of calories, proteins, fats and other vitamins and essential nutrients that a baby needs to grow. good luck and let me know what happens.

No mention of how much baby is actually gaining per week, just giving a weight isn't really helpful, as baby could have been quite happily gaining on this curve. She's right that some children are just small. But the rest of the reply just sounds like a formula ad.

Debbie Demi's Mom
From California

im breastfeeding and everyone says its the best for the baby.my baby is 2 and a half months. but "good" food is expensive so i try to eat as healthy as possible but my baby's bone crack all the time...could it be that my milk isn't nutritional enough?? or could it be more serious? and if my milk isnt good enough what formula is best?

Hi, I'm not sure what you mean by your baby's bones crack? It may just be that you're hearing the new cartilage rubbing on itself. If your baby is growing according to your pediatrician, then I would guess that your milk is the perfect food for your little one. Be sure you drink plenty of milk, or get cottage cheese or other dairy ( 4 servings at least) every day. Continue taking your prenatal vitamin and look for fresh fruits and vegetables in season, because they cost less. If you're concerned about the economy, and really, who isn't right now, aim for using eggs and chicken to get plenty of protein. Good luck

What the fuck? Did she really just tell that mama that she has to drink milk to make milk? Is this Old Wives Tales 101?

I could go on and on, but the misinformation is rife here. Really if they're going to dish out breastfeeding advice they should really have an IBCLC to answer these breastfeeding questions. Here's the direct link to the section if you want to refute some of this garbage as well! Have fun!

Sportsman performs circumcisions, WTF

2010-07-31T01:47:00.001-07:00

I've been a bit MIA from the intactivist community recently. But as I flicked through my Facebook updates this morning I saw this:

That's right, an American football player travelled to the Philippines to circumcise young boys, and thought he was doing them a favour.

Quote:

“The first time, it was nerve-racking,” he said. “Hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I’m cutting somebody. You can’t do those kinds of things in the United States. But those people really needed the surgeries. We needed to help them.”

Now, the whole concept of a SPORTSMAN, untrained in medical procedures, operating on these children aside. The bolded text above is what really bothers me.

Someone explain how exactly these children needed these surgeries?

Now, I'm betting it's something to do with HIV. So these children are out there having risky sex without condoms and they're at risk from HIV are they?

Um, didn't think so. So why exactly is it somehow charity work, needed, for these children to have a circumcision performed by a football player who thinks he's doing some sort of charity work? I mean, for them to actually need the surgery, you'd think perhaps there was some medical indication? Do these kids have foreskin gangrene, or cancer? Frostbite? Or is it yet again, an American pushing the cultural obsession with the foreskin onto children from another country?

Hey, but let's not forget that Filipinos already circumcise their children in traditional ceremonies at 9-12 years of age. There has been a string of deaths related to traditional circumcision schools elsewhere.
So, perhaps Mr Tebow circumcising children in a sterile setting is saving these kids from a worse fate. Can you imagine if he went to Africa and performed "ritual nicks" on young girls to save them a worse fate in traditional FGM? The uproar, quite rightly would be heard everywhere. Yet in circumcising male children, Tebow is some sort of hero. What the fuck.

How did my births affect breastfeeding?

2010-07-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on The Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about Birth Experiences and Breastfeeding. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I have two children, both whom were/are breastfed. I had two very different birth experiences, although ultimately both were hospital vaginal deliveries and breastfeeding was successful. I hadn't really given it a great deal of thought as to whether the birth made any difference in initiating breastfeeding.

Noah, now 5 was born when I was 27, relatively uninformed about birth, although I was fairly educated about breastfeeding. I took antenatal classes where they taught us about pain relief available but they did not talk about any alternative methods other than drugs, it was all either take the drugs or go natural, there was no other option presented. I didn't see the point in experiencing pain if I really didn't have to, so I opted to have an epidural, thinking I would be painfree and enjoy my birth.

It didn't work out that way. My epidural did not take properly, leaving me numb down one side but still feeling everything down the other. I told the anaesthetist that I was still feeling pain but rather than adjusting my position at all I was just told to be patient and it would start to work. It never did.

On the positive side it didn't seem to slow my labour down, although I suspect it made pushing harder, as despite feeling pain I did not have the proper urge to push that I experienced with my second birth. After my baby was born I was not allowed to hold him at first or breastfeed for some reason until I had been stitched up which took half an hour as I tore very badly.

Breastfeeding was difficult initially. Noah struggled to latch, and I would look longingly at other mothers in the ward feeding their babies formula. The lactation consultant on the ward was useless, she came around when I was already feeding him, said everything looked great and that was it. I credit a nursing auxiliary who was there in the middle of the night when I was struggling one time and showed me how to position my baby properly with my breastfeeding success, as the only person who really gave me proper practical help.

I do wonder if the drugs I was given made some sort of impact on our latching as well. There is evidence to suggest that this may be the case.

My second birth was completely unmedicated. I endeavoured to have a different experience with my first, to avoid an epidural, and chose a birthing pool, still in the hospital, I also stayed home until I was quite advanced (I arrived in hospital dilated to 9cm). Pushing was entirely different in that my body took over and it was much easier compared to the "purple pushing" I'd experienced the first time around.
I still tore, but not anywhere near as badly and they waited to stitch me until baby and I had had our first breastfeed, which we did when we were still both in the water. Seamus had no latching issues at all, I felt very empowered in my birth and confident in my body's ability to provide for my child just as I had birthed him without medical intervention. Our road to successful breastfeeding wasn't entirely smooth, as I think I've mentioned in another post, but at least initiation went smoothly.

I think that drugs given in labour do have an impact on breastfeeding, but I suspect it is not only because of them crossing the placenta and affecting the baby, I feel there is also an element of confidence involved as well, if the mother has experienced a cascade of interventions and ends up feeling that she somehow "failed" or did not get the birth she wanted I think that can affect her first breastfeeding experiences as well on a psychological level.

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama—Breastfeeding Carnival: Birth Experience

Emily @ Baby Dickey—How Ryan's birth affected breastfeeding

Kimberly @ Monkey Tales Mama Thoughts—Birth and Boobs

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes—Birth Experience

Shelley @ Lousy Mom—Birth Experience

Kimberly @ Fertility Flower—Transformative Power of Birth

Claire @ Geeky Gaming Mama—How did my births affect breastfeeding?

Natasha @ naturallurbanmama—My birth experiences, also known as Night and Day!

Kaitlin Rose @ Bring Birth Home—Giving Birth at Home Positively Affected Breastfeeding

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—Dealing With the Opposition

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Laurel Miller-Jones—Laurel's Birth Experience and Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding And Employment: My Experience

2010-07-20T03:14:00.000-07:00
Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on The Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about Breastfeeding and Employment. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

I went back to work after the delivery of both of my babies and breastfed them long past their first year. Noah to 21 months, Seamus I plan to allow to child led wean.

I feel lucky being in the UK in that we get six months paid leave (now nine months). So I didn't have to deal with returning to work within weeks of having a new baby as my American friends do.

I was full time before I had Noah, worked up to 39 weeks pregnant so was able to return just short of his turning six months old. My work was very accomodating with me changing my work pattern, I returned working two 7 hour days, on a Tuesday and a Friday. I had introduced a bottle to him at four weeks old and had given him a bottle every few days filled with expressed milk to try to ensure that he would take a bottle when necessary without incident. He was happy to be fed by either method as long as his little tummy was being filled. I responded well to the pump and had a good supply.

When I returned to work though I found the pumping facilities lacking. At first I was told I would have to pump in the ladies toilet. Then someone else found out I was doing that and arranged for me to use the first aid room. However, there was no lock on the room, and water cooler was inside, therefore people would come barging in unannounced. There was a bed and a curtain in there and I took to sitting on the bed and putting the curtain around myself just to be able to afford some privacy.

Then there was the issue with pumping breaks. In a seven hour day, I was only allowed one half an hour break in the day, and that coincided with my lunch. So I would have to pump whilst eating, the first aid room was two floors away from my desk, so I would feasibly only have 20 minutes to pump, with the rest of the time being taken up with washing and drying pump parts, using the toilet, and walking back and forth to my desk. At home I had a baby that would eat every two hours or so during the day. So it was inevitable really that my supply suffered as I was away from him eight hours or so with only one opportunity to pump. At first it was fine but by 10 months or so he started to refuse my breast during the day and he was mix fed from then up to when he weaned completely at 21 months, having two bottles of follow on formula (he refused straight cows milk completely) in the day time and breastfeeding first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

When my second son was born two and a half years later, I was determined I wasn't going to let the same thing happen again. By this time I had looked into child led weaning and wanted to do this with him, I regretted prematurely weaning my oldest and wanted to go at least two years with Seamus. I stopped work this time a month before my due date, so had to return when my baby was five months old. This time, I was told before I went on maternity leave that I would not be able to have half an hour break when I returned, it would be fifteen minutes per day. Completely impossible to eat and pump in that time. So, I decided I would have to change my hours completely in order to preserve my breastfeeding relationship with my youngest son the way I had not been able to with my first. I opted to work three hours a day, five days a week, feeding him before I left and the second I got home. This way I would have one break of four hours each day without feeding including travelling time, but would not have to pump. This worked very well, I did go back to working three days at 7 hours a day when he turned two, but breastfeeding worked much better this time and Seamus is still nursing at 3.5 years old.

What do I think employers could do to improve the situation for nursing mothers?

Firstly, a decent place to pump is important. A lockable room, with a power point and a comfortable place to sit. Not a bathroom. A sink to wash the pump in after is nice but not essential.

Secondly, decent pumping breaks are a must, ideally every 2-3 hours or so. I do not personally expect to be paid for these breaks but they must be available, it's no good having a policy about providing a pumping room for lactating mamas if you don't actually allow them any time to pump. Amount of time allowed for a pumping break may vary between mamas. This should be negotiable.

Some employers allow breastfeeding mothers to have someone bring their children to work to feed them. I was advised recently that my work policy has changed regarding this and this can be allowed. I was told when my children were small that I was NOT to breastfeed on the premises by a senior member of staff. By this time I had already fed my son in the car outside. I never had to do this with my second son so it never came up. But glad to hear that this has now changed. This is very much preferable to pumping at work if it is possible, as it is much quicker than pumping, and allows mama and baby some time to reconnect during the working day!

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Emily @ Baby Dickey—I’m a working and breastfeeding mama

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama—Breastfeeding Carnival: WOHM Breastfeeding

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—Breastfeeding Student

Veronica @ Crunchy VT Mommy—Business Boobies: Breastfeeding & Today’s Workplace

Whitney @ According to Waddlebug: The (Un)Balancing Act of Motherhood—My Perfect Job

BoobiesNBabies @ Num In Mind—I Remember a Baby Friendly Workplace

Claire @ Geeky Gaming Mama—Breastfeeding and Employment

Natasha @ Natural Urban Mamas—Breastfeeding at Work-In Canada is this an issue?

Brooke @ Milk Maid Mamma—Pumping Sucks

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Christy Porucznik—Maintaining Breastfeeding While Separated from One’s Baby—Often Known in the USA as Gainful Employment

Nursing in Public: What Makes It Easier For Me?

2010-07-19T02:09:00.000-07:00
Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!
This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about nursing in public. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

Photo courtesy of user Something to See on Flickr.

My personal thoughts on breastfeeding in public are probably tied in with the sort of person that I am, and always have been. I've never been someone to really worry about what other people think of me. Once I had a baby, his needs came paramount and the delicate sensibilities of random strangers weren't really on my radar.

I do tend to wear breastfeeding friendly clothing to avoid showing off huge amounts of skin to the world, but that is more about making myself feel comfortable, for me I am not that bothered about showing a bit of boob but I'd rather not flash my stomach if I can help it.

Here in the UK a lot of people do not fully understand the law on breastfeeding in public. Some think that it only covers you for six months and after that you can be arrested for indecent exposure. This is not true. A woman with a baby over six months who is asked to stop breastfeeding in a public place can sue under sexual discrimination legislation. Under six months, she can sue under sexual discrimination or maternity legislation. Either way, she is protected.

I really think that when it comes to breastfeeding, there's no way to completely avoid offending ALL people. Some people will be offended no matter what you do. Recently we've had the big story on the Russ and Lisa Show, where apparently Lisa Rollins stated that she thinks breastfeeding should be classed as indecent exposure and criminalized, WHETHER YOU ACTUALLY SHOW ANY BREAST OR NOT. So she would be offended to see any breastfeeding around her, covered or uncovered.
A couple of weeks ago Someone posted a twitpic of a lady breastfeeding in a restaurant, wearing one of those huge tent-like breastfeeding covers, with some kind of derogatory comment about how gross it was.

Another person tweeted that they had gone round to visit someone in their house who then proceeded to breastfeed in front of them, which they found somehow rude. So, even if you stay at home to breastfeed your child, you still run the risk of offending someone who might just happen to come round!

Go to the toilet and breastfeed, and you run the risk of offending someone in there by spending too long in the loo while someone desperately needs to go. How many people who say "take it to the bathroom" would really be happy if they were busting to go but they had to wait for 30 minutes while someone breastfed their child in there?

And then there's the issue of bottles. Setting aside the fact that not all women CAN pump much at all, some babies won't take bottles, but you know that there are women out there who sneer at anyone feeding their baby with a bottle, regardless of what is inside it. You really can't win no matter what you do.

So, I propose this: We stop worrying about what other people think. Breastfeed as we feel comfortable, covered or not, wherever we want, in private or not. Pump and bottle feed if that's what you want to do, or have your baby feed from the source. The law is on your side, and you can't please everyone. So you might as well do what makes you, and your baby happy.

So to answer what makes it easy for me to nurse in public, I would say confidence in myself, and knowledge of local laws regarding breastfeeding.

Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Emily @ Baby Dickey—baby eats when baby wants: nursing in public

BoobiesNBabies @ Num In Mind—NIP a Lil Giant, How We Do It

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama—Breastfeeding Carnival: Nursing in Public

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—My Biggest Advocate

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes—Making it easy for everyone to nurse

Kaitlin @ Bringing Birth Home—Breastfeeding Uncovered - A Peaceful Protest

Claire @ Geeky Gaming Mama—Nursing in Public: What Makes it Easier

Brooke @ Milk Maid Mama—Nursing in Public

Kathy @ Musings From an Arid Neverland—Do I need fancy clothes to nurse in public?

Shary @ Mama Fish—NIP: Nursing in Public

Kimberly @ Monkey Tales Mama Thoughts—Nips: Not those, well kind of those

Shelly @ Lousy Mom—Breastfeeding Public

Sarah @ Most Revealing—Nip

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!—No Reservations

Natasha @ Natural Urban Mamas—Nursing in Public-Not a Big Deal

StorkStories @ Stork Stories... Birth & Breastfeeding—Little Old Men… & Nursing in Public (Back by “PUBLIC” Demand)

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Heather Hendriksen—Tips for Nursing in Public

Rough day.

2010-07-14T13:11:00.000-07:00
Today was the funeral for Finn. We didn't have a formal service, but wanted to do something plus I wanted a burial as cremation freaks me out a bit and I wanted a set place to visit him, place flowers etc. The hospital arranged everything, it was just DH and I plus my mum, the hospital chaplain was there and she said a prayer for Finn and for the whole family. I have never seen such a tiny coffin in my life. White, with his full name engraved on the top. We got a beautiful plot under a cherry tree.

We have to wait three months before we can put a headstone on, I intend to get one, and to put flowers on in November when he should have been born, and at his real birthday on July 2 next year.

I should go back to work next week. Not sure yet if I am ready, or not, but now that today is over which has been looming over me for the past week I hope I can start to look forward a little. I know it will hurt for a long time and we will never forget but have to keep a positive outlook, at least for our other two children, who have inevitably been affected.

Baby Friendly Community : What It Means To Me

2010-07-12T10:22:00.000-07:00
Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about baby friendly communities. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

The Baby Friendly Initiative is a worldwide programme of the World Health Organisation (WHO) and UNICEF. Community facilities can become accredited as "Baby Friendly" by adopting the Seven Point Plan for Sustaining Breastfeeding in the Community.

The Seven Point Plan covers many issues surrounding breastfeeding from staff training in breastfeeding inititation and continued/sustained breastfeeding, being welcoming towards breastfeeding families, not promoting bottle feeding, and giving out information about breastfeeding to pregnant women.

As a mother in the UK who is currently breastfeeding, we have some things going for us here in the fact that the UK abides by the WHO code. There are no formula samples or bags given to pregnant women in the hospitals here. In the hospital that I delivered, they go as far as not providing free formula to babies unless there is a medical indication. If the mother chooses before birth not to breastfeed, she has to bring her own formula to the hospital with her. There are formula ads on the TV and in magazines, but only for "follow on" formula, they do not advertise newborn formulas. You don't get handed coupons for formula at the checkout and there are no displays showing formula at reduced price. Breastfeeding in public is protected by law here. And yet, breastfeeding rates are still appallingly low. The last Infant Feeding Survey done in 2005 showed that only 35 per cent of UK babies are being exclusively breastfed at one week, 21 per cent at six weeks, 7 per cent at four months and 3 per cent at five months. Why?

In my opinion, the biggest problem we face here in the UK is breastfeeding support - it's simply not good enough. This article shows that still not enough hospitals are gaining Baby Friendly status.

I gave birth to both of my children in the same hospital. I was told that while there was a lactation consultant on the staff she was not there all the time, however the midwives and nurses in the Delivery Suite are trained in breastfeeding. I actually found them very good. With my first son, I had cracked and bleeding nipples stemming from some problems latching. I could get him on, but it would take me 15 minutes each time and it was a big source of frustration and tears as a hormonal new mama. The LC came around but at the time he was happily attached and nursing and she just took one look at us, said it all looked good and wandered off again. I accredit our breastfeeding success to a nursing auxiliary who was changing my bed as I tried to latch my son fruitlessly one morning. She got a pillow for me to lay him on so he was the right height to feed comfortably, and showed me how to guide his head properly to ensure he latched the right way. She also advised me to let my nipples air dry between feedings to aid healing. Almost right away this made the world of difference to us. By the time he was 10 days old we had things off pat. I never had to ring the breastfeeding support helpline number that I was given.

Things were rather different with my second son when he was born two years later, however. While everything was fine initially, none of the latch issues I had with his brother, he had a problem with his belly button becoming infected at 10 days old and had to take him back into hospital. There a nurse weighed him on a scale placed on a bed, proceeded to round down the weight and it appeared he had lost weight alarmingly. Born at 8lbs 4oz, he was 8lbs even at 5 days old, they said he now weighed 7lbs 14oz. Then a doctor came around, without even addressing the reason we were there (the belly button infection) and started saying things like many mothers do not make enough milk for their babies, if he needs to eat more often than every four hours then I wasn't producing enough for him, I needed to start supplementing with formula, etc. I argued back with her that my oldest fed every hour and gained perfectly well. They told me that I must feed my baby every three hours starting with breastfeeding followed by a top up of formula. (Recipe for supply failure, right?)

I went home with my confidence shaken despite everything I knew about breastfeeding and my experience, attempted to bottle feed my son with expressed milk which he refused point blank, he just wanted to feed at the source. The next day I rang the Central Delivery Suite and made a complaint about the way I was treated by the doctor. They were horrified at the advice I was given. I told them I was going to continue to nurse him on demand, but to make sure he didn't go more than two hours without a feed, I wasn't going to give any supplements. They agreed this was a good plan of action and arranged for a midwife to come around the next day to weigh my baby again at my house.

The midwife duly came around the next day, took one look at my baby and commented that he really didn't look like a baby that wasn't getting enough, then got out the scales in her bag, saying that she needed to find a spirit level surface to place them on to get an accurate reading. Alarm bells went off in my head as I remembered that the nurse the day before had put the scale ON THE BED which would be nowhere near level. He weighed over a full pound more than they had told me he was the day before, at 9lbs even.

Then at 5 weeks old, we went through a stage of him refusing the breast, or pulling off screaming at every feed. I rang the helpline, but this happened on a Bank Holiday weekend, so all I could do was leave a message and wait for a call back. I didn't get a callback for a full week after I initially rang. This is not good enough. Thankfully I had the internet, online forums where I got lots of supportive and helpful advice and figured out my problem was an extremely forceful letdown as his screaming would start just as letdown happened and was putting him off nursing at all. I used several techniques to combat this like nursing uphill, expressing before latching, etc.

So from my experience, the right things are being said and the theory is there regarding supporting breastfeeding. But while doctors are able to opt out of breastfeeding training and access to support helplines is patchy in places, we will continue to fall short.

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe's Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today's post is about baby friendly communities. Please read the other blogs in today's carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!

Bottom:

Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Emily @ Baby Dickey—Living in a baby friendly community

Sara @ The Covered Wagon—A Baby-Friendly Worship Community

Shary @ Mama Fish—A Community Fit For All Babies

Sylko @ Chaotic Mama—Breastfeeding Carnival: Baby Friendly Community

Claire @ The Adventures of Lactating Girl—Community is What You Make of It

Kimberly @ Fertility Flower—Baby Friendly Maternity Leave

Melodie @ Breastfeeding Moms Unite!—The People Who Make My Baby Friendly Community

Timbra @ Bosoms and Babes—
Baby Friendly Community: Carnival Day 1

Claire @ Geeky Gaming Mama—Baby Friendly Community: What It Means To Me

Renee @ Just the 5 of us!—Baby friendly, one baby at a time

Kathy @ Musings From an Arid Neverland—The baby-friendly community vs. the deserted island

And of course the guest poster on the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Blog today is Heather Hendriksen—Tips for Nursing in Public

I Will Love You

2010-07-10T12:44:00.000-07:00

This song makes me think of Finn. I've had it on repeat play ever since...

Fisher - "I Will Love You"
Album: True North

Til my body is dust
til my soul is no more
I will love you, love you

Til the sun starts to cry
and the moon turns to rust
I will love you, love you

But I need to know
will you stay for all time
forever and a day
Then I'll give my heart
'til the end of all time
forever and a day

And I need to know
will you stay for all time
forever and a day
Then I'll give my heart
'til the end of all time
forever and a day

'Til the storms fill my eyes
and we touch the last time
I will love you, love you

I will love you, love you....
I will love you, love you, love you...

Guilt.

2010-07-09T01:26:00.000-07:00
The naivety is gone.

When I was younger I always thought that once you got pregnant, that was it, you would have a baby.

I was 25 when we started trying for baby #1. I wondered if it would be easy for us, whether it would take us a while to conceive. Well, we conceived the first month of properly trying. I couldn't believe we had been so lucky. Announced the pregnancy to the parents and everything. Then a week later, we were out in the pub, I went to the toilet and noticed I had started bleeding, bright red blood. An ultrasound a day later showed no baby, just some tissue "retained products of conception" they called it. After waiting it out a week or so and I didn't miscarry completely I had a D&C.

Fell pregnant again while on holiday in New York, this time I didn't realise what was going on but I had a mini period, that didn't amount to anything other than a day or 2 of brown spotting. Tested, positive. 2 days later I had a full on period, ultrasound this time showed nothing left.

We didn't plan to try again for a while, it was a rough patch in the marriage, then around Christmas I conceived again, this time I sat on my bum for the first three months, quit my job in Norwich involving travelling for a job closer to home even though it meant I would not get statutory maternity pay. Went to my ultrasound, perfectly healthy baby. Noah was born the following September.

I started to think that perhaps the miscarriages were a fluke and it wouldn't happen again. When Noah was around 18 months old we started talking about trying again. Again, fell pregnant the first month of trying. This time I got to the 8 week mark before the bleeding started. I miscarried at home and ultrasound showed there was nothing left. At this point I started to think maybe Noah was a fluke and we would not be able to carry another baby. Then I fell pregnant again the following May. Rested up the first three months. Then had the triple test at 16 weeks, which showed a high risk of Downs. The next 4 months I was a worrying mess, my OB got angry at me for refusing an amnio because I couldn't risk losing my baby. I argued with DH as he was of the opinion if this baby was Downs we should terminate. I was fiercely pro life at this point. However, Seamus was born the following February perfectly healthy.

I always knew I wanted three children, but DH was very fixed on just having the two, he found the newborn phase and lack of sleep difficult to cope with. We compromised by saying we would talk about it once Seamus was almost at school age, so this would be in 2011. However fate had other plans and just after we bought a new house, I found out I was pregnant again, we had been using the diaphragm but turns out the failure rate is fairly high even when inserted properly and when using spermicide..

By this time I had got quite accustomed to the thought of having 2 boys, Seamus was still not sleeping great due to his eczema, and I admit that I was not entirely happy about being pregnant again. Still I worried about miscarrying but got past the first few weeks and saw our baby at the `12 week scan. Having only ever got to this point with a healthy baby before, honestly it did not occur to me that anything might happen. I refused the triple test this time and the nuchal scan after our experience with Seamus. DH and I got used to the idea of having another baby and started to get excited. The 20 week scan loomed and I started to wonder.. boy or girl? Having 2 boys already I was really hung up on the thought of having a girl this time. We had names all chosen and I felt I just *knew* this was going to be a girl, to the point I referred to "her" by her name. The boys both went on and on about having a sister. At the back of my mind I thought "It doesn't matter, as long as I have a healthy baby..." but still I was so focused on finding out the sex, and I worried, if I was to have another boy, would I be disappointed??

When I saw my baby on the scan though and they said it was a boy those thoughts quickly evaporated. As I looked at his face, all his parts, I loved my baby.

Then the technician stopped the scan and said those immortal words, "I'm here to look for any unusual features that might indicate a problem in your baby. And I'm afraid to tell you that there appears to be a problem with the heart."

My world came crashing down.

I was so fixated on one stupid, insignificant detail about my baby. I feel so guilty for that.

The end of the road.

2010-07-06T08:54:00.001-07:00
Before I say anything else I want to say that I am going to hide the comments in "the other thread". It is painful for me to read them at this stage. I am not going to delete any, I do not agree with censorship, and I will not go to moderated comments unless I really have to. But please, think before you comment.

I have had several DMs from people saying my being open and public about my experience has helped them and others. Much as I have felt at times that it was a bad thing to do, maybe in some small way it is worth it. I initially told about Finn's condition because I wanted input and opinions. I got 5 comments on my original post asking for that, however when I blogged saying that we planned to terminate I got 35 (on the blog alone) I had people looking me up and sending me messages on facebook. I found this rather disturbing and set my profile to private.

I want to blog about this now because talking about it is cathartic to me, working through my feelings, ranting on twitter and whatnot. I also want to respond to some of the things that have been said. I am glad that I did not step away and end up deleting my account. We've had so much support from friends and it all matters so much to us.

I think that when I thought about termination of pregnancy before this I thought of a surgical termination. I had more than one DM telling me that my child would feel the pain of the surgery with the procedure. In fact at the stage of gestation I was at, 21 weeks, the only way the NHS will do it is via induction of labour. I have read on abortion support sites that some countries like the US will do a D&E on women having later term abortions up to a point. This would not have been an option for us as we wanted to meet our little man. Essentially it was the same as us opting for the "comfort care" choice (ie giving birth and letting nature take its course) except rather than carrying to term, we chose to induce labour early rather than prolonging the painful situation for a further 4.5 months.

A major what if for me was - what if we had never found out about his condition and he had been born like this with no prior knowledge. From the information that I have been given by the cardiac team at GOSH, babies like this diagnosed at 20 weeks do not suddenly "get better". Sometimes the development of the heart leads to more complications later down the road. But they could tell me with certainty that his condition would not have righted itself. It is however quite possible that further developments could occur leading to his condition no longer being viable for treatment. When we discussed the option of "comfort care" (ie delivering at full term, but opting not to treat but letting him die of the condition) we were told many parents do then opt to treat because once they have met their baby they do not want to withhold treatment. I never considered this as an option because if we were to carry him to term I would want to give him a chance. Either we end it early or we go the surgery route. I see little point in the comfort care choice and would worry that he would suffer.

They assured me that in this case he would not, he would just become sleepier and sleepier until dying from the gradual shut down of blood flow to his body. We would have the option of delivering at another venue OTHER than Norfolk and Norwich and subsequent transfer to GOSH if we wanted to go this route but definitely did not want to go through the surgery. In other words, if he was delivered anywhere BUT Norfolk and Norwich/GOSH it would be pretty certain that my son would die. We had planned a homebirth. Chance are as I see it that had we not known about his condition, my son would have been born at home, become sleepy and I may have even thought I had hit the jackpot and got a sleeper, only to find him dead in his cot a day or so later. Imagine then the investigations, guilt and horror that would ensue. No, I am very thankful that ultrasound is available to diagnose babies like this enabling their parents to make a choice.

Induction started at 11am and he was born sleeping at 20.20pm. We held him, kissed him, he was baptised and we got to say goodbye. They took him away after a couple of hours, dressed him in a blue suit and blanket and took photos, hand and footprints. I received those today in a little box. I have not looked inside yet as it is all too fresh and raw. The hospital are to arrange a funeral for Finn which we will attend, his body will be buried at a local cemetery so we can put flowers on and visit him. This was really important to me as my mum and sister both lost babies and never knew what happened to their babies remains. Honestly I cannot fault the NHS for what they have done for us, they have been compassionate and caring, respecting our wishes as Finn's parents right up to the very end.

I did feel upon looking at him that we had done the right thing for him. I know many will disagree and that is their right but essentially we did this to avoid all the pain and suffering he would have experienced. Putting a tiny one through three open heart surgeries and all that entails, with a high risk for complications and death anyway, and also the impact on our other children would have been huge. I am sure that we will have regrets and "what-ifs" but as our OB said... we made the right decision based upon the information we had and our personal situation at the time. Now comes the slow road to emotional recovery for all of us.

We chose

2010-06-27T00:23:00.001-07:00
We have chosen to terminate the pregnancy. And this is going to be the hardest thing either of us have ever done.

The main reason for me is that giving birth to Finn and having the surgery would mean being away from my other children and especially Seamus, who is three and a half and has never had a night without his mama. He wants me and only me at night if he wakes or if he is upset. He would think that I had abandoned him and I think it might damage our relationship severely. We have told Noah who is almost six and he I think to some degree understands. Seamus' mind is full of bubba, lightsabers and apples.... He will not comprehend what is going on at all.

I feel like I am being forced to choose between my children. Between the one wiggling in my tummy and the two breathing children on the outside.

I also have to consider though what life would be like for Finn. Open heart surgery is a huge thing, to undertake and to recover from. Rather than spending his first weeks of life in my arms nursing and being cuddled, he would spend it mostly unconscious hooked up to machines. Even if he survived the surgeries, his quality of life would not be great. He would need oxygen and regular monitoring. He would tire easily - the specialist told us 10 minute bursts of exercise - whilst watching his brothers play unrestricted. And long term we do not even know if he would survive childhood.

I think that if I did not have two other children to think about or if the likely outcome was better from the surgery our decision would be different. And yet I am still wavering. I lay here feeling Finn move and kick and feel like a terrible mother for considering this. I always said that I would not have a termination unless my life was threatened, or my child had no chance of survival. But you know what? When you're in these shoes, and have to make that decision, the one I never thought I would have to make, there is so much more to consider. It is impossibly hard. And everyones personal and family circumstances are different.

Finn will always be part of our family and we will never forget him.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Baby Finn

2010-06-25T08:47:00.001-07:00
I wrote a big post and the BlogPress crashed. Let's see if I actually get to post it this time.

We're on the train home. I got bumped into first class but dh is still in economy. In some ways this is good as it gives me some time to think.

Baby Finn has a very serious heart condition. He has hypoplastic left heart syndrome, which means that the left side of his heart that usually does a lot of work in pumping blood to the body is underdeveloped. While he is in utero the system he has works okay because the fetal circulation ensures blood can get to all the body parts. There is an extra little opening that closes within the first couple of days after birth. Once this closes Finn would become very ill as his heart would no longer be pumping blood to the body. They can give medication to keep this open temporarily but he would basically need open heart surgery within days of life. This would involve a 3-4 week stay at GOSH intensive care. This is to buy time, he would then need 2 further operations one at 4 months and another at 2-3 years. If he gets through all 3 (chance of around 60%) Finn would be able to live a relatively normal childhood and be able to go to school but would tire easily. Long term prognosis is unknown past childhood/adolescence as the surgery involved (Norwood procedure) has only been around since the 1990s. It is possible at some point he may need a heart transplant.

So we have 3 options. Continue with the pregnancy and go the surgery route. (There is a chance further complications may arise later in the pregnancy making surgery non viable. But right now he appears a good candidate.) 2nd is continue with the pregnancy but let nature take it's course. Finn will not survive more than a few days this way. Or we decide this is too much strain on our family and opt to terminate the pregnancy within the next week or so. We have not decided which route we will go down for sure. I want to give Finn the best chance I can at life but I am also worried about the impact on my other children. So we have lots of soul searching to do.

We really appreciate all the love and support we have been given xxx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What #i2 often forgets about...

2010-04-26T10:33:00.000-07:00
During my active time as part of the intactivist community, I've seen many campaigns regarding female genital mutilation, there are many organisations currently working towards ridding the world of this practice. Similarly there are groups working towards ending male genital mutilation, more commonly known as male circumcision. I posted a link to this blog on Twitter earlier I had come across, and had it rightfully pointed out to me that this article like so many others forgets to talk about intersex surgeries. I do think this is important to talk about.

As intactivists, many of us focus on INDIVIDUAL CHOICE. Surgeries on infants and children are performed with the justification that their parents chose it for them, and that it is for some reason important for their genitals to look a certain way to "fit in" with the rest of society. For males, in a country like the US the perception is that it is the norm and a male who is not genitally altered will be teased, will not be able to find a sexual partner, and will experience physical problems like infections. In countries that practice female circumcision or FGM similar reasons are given for cutting infants and young girls.

What tends to be overlooked is that circumcision is not the only type of genital cutting that damages individuals and is often done without their consent by medical professionals before they are old enough to consent.
To be intersex essentially means that an individual has intermediate or atypical combination of physical features that usually differentiate between female or male. It is a normal variation present in humans. There are currently approximately 30,000 intersex people living in Britain, affecting approximately 1 in 2,000 live births. However, the recommendation of many doctors to parents of an intersex infant is to surgically alter the child to more match one sex or the other, on the grounds that later in life they may be stigmatised by not looking the way society says they should. (Sound familiar, intactivists?)

Many subscribe to the System of Belief theory which states that there are only females and males, only men and women, that all men have the XY karyotype, that all women have the XX karyotype, and that nothing else exists outside, despite human biology contradicting this.

Just as with circumcision, sometimes the baby grows up and later regrets the decision that was made for them to assign them to one gender or another. For example Adele Addams was assigned male at birth, due to Kleinfelter's Syndrome where the individual has an XXY chromosomal configuration. She lived as a gay man for several years, and now identifies as a female, eventually undergoing surgery under the NHS. Addams moved onto create Project Silverfish, a support service for intersex and transgender people, describing them as “the most marginalised minority community in London”

The person that really opened my eyes to the issues intersex people face was Penny Sautereau-Fife, whose blog is here.
Born with ambiguous genitalia, namely an underdeveloped vaginal opening within a small scrotum, which was surgically cauterized and her family advised to raise her as a male. This felt wrong to Penny for many years and eventually discovered through some medical testing that she was in fact biologically female, possessing a uterus and an ovary but also a penis and a testicle. She has monthly periods but due to having no vaginal opening the blood has nowhere to go which causes her pain every month. Unfortunately for Penny she has a progressive genetic blood disorder which makes it life threatening to have further genital surgery to relieve this. Had she discovered her intersex status as little as 5 years earlier she could have been safely operated on but by this time it was too late for her to be able to survive the surgery.

A British study of intersex people who electively chose to have surgery to "correct" their condition as adults showed a large majority were unhappy with the results, with many experiencing diminished sexual response and physical pain. I can only imagine how much worse that would feel if the surgery were forced upon them when they were too young to consent to it.

What are the risks and consequences of intersex surgery? It is performed essentially for social reasons, yet has measurable drawbacks and risks. In many cases it leads to infertility where gonads are removed, and in 20-30% of cases sexual sensation is diminished. I think the reason people seem to think this is justified with intersex individuals is that it is seen as a birth defect, a disorder. Yet to think this way is to erase the identity of people that are happy with their status and bodies, and do not wish to conform with a forced gender binary. The OII (Organisation Intersex International) in their policy statement on genital cutting points out that there is no evidence that being intersex has any negative effect on quality of life or that surgery is any kind of solution to this. It is true that there are health risks for a small percentage of intersex people (usually mentioned is the risk of future cancer if internal testes are left inside the body) but still the vast majority of surgeries are performed for no other reason than social conformity. In the case of internal testes testing can be done later in life and surgery carried out only when necessary or when the patient chooses.

My own thoughts are that as intactivists, our focus should be on stopping ALL genital cutting of non consenting individuals where there is no medical need. Fitting in with society is NOT a medical or legitimate need. Let people decide when they are old enough how they want their genitals to look and function. To quote the OII:

Because infants and children are too young to assert their autonomy, they should not be subjected to unnecessary surgeries which may irrevocably harm them, and which they may not have chosen as adults. We recognise that cases requiring medical treatment for the maintenance of health or preservation of life should be managed as with any other situation where a child needs treatment.

To @MrStillwater - regarding circumcision and abortion.

2010-04-21T10:41:00.000-07:00
I wanted to put this into a blog post because there is way too much here to put in a tweet or two.

But this is something that regularly comes up when I or others talk about circumcision. We get asked if we are pro life or pro choice, and somebody always says "if you are pro choice for abortion, how can you be against circumcision?"

Well, it's simple, to me.

Had a mini-tweet conversation with @johnhalton regarding religious circumcision and where I stand on that. As I explained to him, while I am against circumcision, I do not think it is necessary to ban it entirely. I think that the system we have here in the UK, where the NHS does not fund circumcision for medical reasons, and the fact that doctors are reasonably educated generally about foreskins and do not in most cases jump to circumcision at the slightest hint of a problem, is enough to keep circumcision to a reasonable level. Banning it entirely would cause people to go to backstreet circumcisionists and children whose parents chose it would be at a higher risk of botched operations and long term complications.

I'd like to see it be eradicated entirely, as I do ultimately think circumcision of non consenting infants is wrong. But I do not see that happening and especially in America where it is so entrenched in society.

Similarly, with abortion. I do not like abortion. I was pro-life for a long, long time, because I felt that every person, and I do see a fetus as a person, deserves life. Regardless of how they came into the world, and regardless of if they have a disability. BUT - the Baby P case hit headlines here in the UK, and I realised that if we had less abortions, there would be a LOT more abused, unwanted, neglected children out there. I don't have to go into detail about what happened to Baby P but I really think a child is better off aborted than subject to the kind of living hell that child and many others are put through every day.

It goes without saying I think as well that if you criminalise abortion, you remove a woman's right to decide about the fate of her own body, as well as her fetus'. And as with circumcision, you force women to go to backstreet abortionists which as we know from history is very dangerous to their health.

Now, let's compare this to circumcision. Circumcision ONLY affects the person whose body the penis belongs to. It does not affect the parents, or anybody else in the family. So in this case, it seems quite clear who the decision on whether or not cosmetic alteration should take place on said body. With abortion - we can't just consider the fetus, but we also have to consider the woman's physical, mental and emotional health.

Jan Moir does it again

2010-03-05T04:36:00.000-08:00
I came across this piece of hate-filled garbage on the Mail Online website today. Some may remember Jan Moir from the national outrage over her piece insinuating Stephen Gately died because he was gay. Well, this time the target of her drivel is breastfeeding mothers.

Where to even start with this?

She's referring to an incident that happened in East Dulwich where a shop manager, Steve Symonds of Mind charity shop apparently spied on a woman in a changing room, ordered here to leave, before spraying her with air freshener saying "Your breastmilk stinks."

Moir admits that this is not a "diplomatic" way to handle this "small incident". She seems to be entirely ignorant of what the law says about breastfeeding in public. Shall we talk about that for a moment?

What Mr Symonds did here is against the 1975 Sexual Discrimination Act, which created legal protection for a woman under the provision of goods, services and facilities section. This covers breastfeeding a child of any age and means that she cannot be discriminated against for breastfeeding in a place such as a shop.

There is some confusion over the 2008 amendment to the SDA which specifically gives additional protection under the grounds of maternity as well as sexual discrimination for babies under the age of 26 weeks.

For her part, Mrs Baker - true to breast-feeding mummy form - was 'amazingly insulted' to be told that her milk was odiferous and challenged the manager for looking into the cubicle in the first place. Now, she wants Mind to announce a clear policy allowing breast-feeding and guaranteeing privacy behind curtains.

Really. What self-righteous humbug. Why should Mind do anything of the sort?

Well, actually, under the law, it is illegal for Mind to do otherwise. In fact they do not need a specific policy "allowing" breastfeeding because women are already protected by the SDA. Mr Symonds did not have the right to do as he did. And does Moir really think it is by any means okay for a man to spy on a woman in a changing room?

Especially as it seems possible that she snuck into Mind with the express intention of feeding her baby there.

Really Moir, we know this how? This is a random assumption with zero basis in fact. Baker states in her account quite clearly that she was trying on clothes, that there was another changing room available, and there was only one other customer in the shop. I'm really not seeing the problem here.

Power to Mind, though, as their chief executive has written to Ms Baker apologising and has ordered an investigation.

Why, breast-feeding is the most natural and beautiful thing in the world, they cry. Well, so is urinating, but no one insists on doing that wherever and whenever the need takes their fancy. Not outside France, at any rate

Really, Moir. If you don't know the difference between eating and urinating I'm never going to eat at your house. Not that I'd want to, frankly.

High maternal androgen levels while pregnant negatively associated with breastfeeding

2010-01-09T02:32:00.001-08:00
That was the finding of a recent study that has been reported by the media in recent days.

The NHS have provided some interesting information about the research itself. Several questions came to mind whilst reading all of this.

Firstly, the study found that women who do not breastfeed were more likely to have heightened androgen levels. It has been suggested this could be because testosterone inhibits milk production, and women who have higher levels may have less desire to breastfeed in the first place. I find this extremely simplistic. Norway is a country where 99% of women initiate breastfeeding, so culturally things are different there to the UK or the US, where they are many, many reasons why a woman may choose not to breastfeed, including lack of support from family, friends or health professionals, bad advice given, social reasons, unsupportive employer/little to no maternity leave, history of sexual assault or abuse, etc.
It also does not take into consideration mothers that have intense struggles with breastfeeding yet doggedly persevere with it.

To really examine whether poorer health among formula fed infants is due to the formula or higher levels of androgens in the mother's body before birth, they needed to compare health outcomes between babies whose mothers that formula fed because of medical inability to breastfeed with women that formula fed by choice or for reasons such as work constraints and sabotage that would have otherwise been able to successfully breastfeed.

Secondly, I feel this research could be very useful in potentially identifying potential breastfeeding issues pre-birth by testing hormone levels and then offering them additional support and help to enable them to breastfeed. To make the jump to "Formula milk is as good as breastmilk" is vastly irresponsible and would do mothers and babies a disservice.

My thoughts on the tragic death of baby on airplane

2009-12-04T00:03:00.000-08:00
There has been a lot of press in the last few days about the lady whose baby died of SIDS while on an airplane.

I'm not going to link to the actual news articles because frankly, I am disgusted about how this is being reported. Headlines that blame breastfeeding, when breastfeeding has NOTHING to do with how the baby sadly died. What message will this all give new parents? That co-sleeping is bad, and breastfeeding probably is too, because you might smother your baby.

What message SHOULD we be taking away from this tragic incident? Co- sleeping is safe when done properly. Teaching parents how to co-sleep safely with their babies is more productive than demonizing it.

I also read a comment on Annie's blog above which is apparently an eye witness account of what happened. The mother asked for privacy to breastfeed and was given a whole row to herself. I don't blame the mama in the slightest, as society tells us over and over again that breastfeeding is something that must be done in private, discreetly, etcetc. However I can't help thinking that if breastfeeding in public was more accepted and she was comfortable with breastfeeding with others around her that this probably would not have happened. Falling asleep with a baby on a row of airplane seats is a similar environment to falling asleep with baby on a couch - which is an unsafe sleeping environment.

Why I challenge the breastfeeding in public "haters"

2009-11-03T23:49:00.000-08:00
(I won't go into all the reasons why it is important for mothers to be able to feed their babies in public. I went into that in great detail here.)

Twitter is an amazing resource. As a breastfeeding mother, one outstanding use for it is providing help to other mums who might be having a hard time with breastfeeding. There is a huge network of experienced mothers, lactivists, and trained LCs who can advise within seconds of posting. All you need to do is mention "breastfeeding" in your tweet and help is on its way! Wonderful, huh?

Case in point a lady stricken with swine flu recently posted that she had been advised to stop breastfeeding and give formula because the antivirals she had been prescribed were contraindicated whilst breastfeeding. Within seconds of tweeting this, she had been directed to various websites including one from the NHS which states that it is not only safe to breastfeed whilst on antivirals, but very important to continue to provide breastmilk to an infant who has been exposed to H1N1, because the antibodies being produced by the mother's body will help safeguard the infant and prevent hir from becoming sick.

So the question has been asked, how do people find tweets from people not on their friends list? Personally, I use Tweetdeck. It has the functionality of typing in a keyword search and leaving the column open so you get updates on any new posts mentioning breastfeeding, or any other word, just as you do your friends new tweets or your mentions.

The downside of this is that you also see a lot of tweets from people saying blatantly ignorant things about breastfeeding mothers and in particular breastfeeding in public. See my previous post. Sometimes, engaging a person in this way makes them think twice, providing them with some information about WHY people breastfeed their babies in public places gives them an insight. I've been thanked by some by giving my opinion and insulted and sworn at by others. Some people genuinely don't seem to understand that Twitter is a public resource and unless your tweets are protected, saying something inflammatory is like shouting it in a crowded room. Don't say offensive stuff unless you want to be called on it. Twitter isn't like Facebook, or a private blog, where unless someone is on your friendslist they can't see anything you post. If you can't personally handle this, I'd suggest posting any rants on an invite only blog, protected Twitter feed or Facebook where only your likeminded friends can read them.

Interview with a 5 year old (and his baby brother..)

2009-10-27T10:36:00.000-07:00
Q1. Why did God make mothers? (modified question: What are mothers for?)

Seamus: Booba.
Noah: I don't know.

Q2. How did God make mothers? (modified question: How were mothers made?)

Both boys: Mmmmmmmm.. (completely stumped by this question)

Q3. What ingredients are mothers made of ?

Seamus: Biscuits. I want a biscuit as well.
Noah: Skin.

Q4. Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mum? (modified question: Why am I your mommy your mommy instead of another woman being your mommy?)

Seamus: Because.....*trails off*
Noah: To look after me.

Q5. What kind of little girl was your mommy?

Seamus: Like you.
Noah: I think you were quite good.

Q6. What did Mommy need to know about Daddy before she married him?

Noah: That you needed to be friends with him.

Q7. Why did your Mommy marry (choose) your Daddy?

Noah: Because you thought I would like him.

Q8. Who’s the boss at your house?

Noah: You are.

Q9. What’s the difference between mommies and daddies?

Noah: Mummies are small and daddies are big.

Q10. What does your mommy do in her spare time?

Noah: You have a day off. (Questioned what I do in my day off?) You do things.

Q11. What would it take to make your mommy perfect?

Noah: To dry your hair and put glasses on.

Q12. If you could change one thing about your mommy, what would it be?

Noah: Not put glasses on you. (I took my glasses off) You look beautiful Mummy.

Anti Breastfeeding Hate on Twitter

2009-10-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

This is me. Breastfeeding my 2.5 year old son Seamus, and look! NO blanket. Because there is no way in hell he would wear one. And because well, honestly, how much flesh can you see? You might get a flash for a split second when I latch him on, but since he and my top cover most of it you'd have to be looking pretty hard to see anything.

I have breastfed two boys now, and this is my youngest. My oldest weaned at 21 months. I breastfed both of them everywhere right from early on. I used nursing rooms when I was first starting out because I was unsure of myself and inexperienced with it. Now, I really couldn't care less. I've never had a negative comment, several people have said that they didn't realise was I was doing until they looked closer. I've breastfed in doctors surgery and hospital waiting rooms, on park benches, in town, on the bus. I've never had so much as a dirty look.

Yet, get a bunch of people on a medium like Twitter, and some really nasty comments come out. I doubt they actually say this stuff to people to their face, I guess being behind a computer screen makes them feel somehow safe and protected from being called out on their bullshit. So for your pleasure, here's some tweets to myself and other nursing mamas. This is just in the last 24 hours. Names removed to protect the guilty.

@xxxx o my gosh what is youre fucking problem? get that creature off your nipple and put that shit away. WHAT THE FUCK

@xxxx is being a huge moron. its symbolic speach motherfucker. go put a bullet in your fucking head. #realfuckingtalk

@clairelouise2 i wanna see you cry a river of your own tears and have your baby drown in it. so u cannot do that in public ever again

@clairelouise2 today im fighting to make it against the law. FUCK LACTIVISTS. YOU JUST WANT ATTENTION. im the fucking MAN LETS GOO #realtalk

@xxxx @clairelouise2 are retarded cunts. @xxxx is right. they need to put their tits away before i take their babies away

Just saw a woman enjoy a breakfast sandwich while breastfeeding her baby. In starbucks. Eww go to the bathroom for that its disgusting

@xxxx @tbottv @xxxx @xxxx xxxx and clairelouise2..those were the fucking psycho bitch breatfeeding "lactavist"

@xxxx yeah... me and the majority of society has issues because we don't feel the need to see your tits

If your kid is old enough to say 'momma' clearly you shouldn't be breastfeeding!!

And the object of all this vitriol? A mother, breastfeeding her child, in a public place. And those that dare stand up and fight the ignorance of those who insist she do it out of sight, covered up, whatever.

So what is wrong with people insisting mothers go to the bathroom, stay at home, cover with a blanket? Well, I have noticed that most of these people are either childless, or have never breastfed a baby before. Breastfed babies have different feeding patterns to formula fed ones. They vary, but most eat VERY often. We're talking about hourly, sometimes even more especially at first. And the length of feeding also varies. My children both ate for 5-10 minutes at a time, about once an hour, but for some people it can take an hour or so to feed. It can feel in the first few weeks that nursing is ALL you do.

Nursing rooms are all very nice, but let's face it, how many of them are there, and how often are they taken by other people using the loo or preparing bottles, sitting around chatting etc. In my town there are *two* nursing rooms. Both have enough room for only one person/pushchair at a time, and they also have changing facilities in, so you can imagine they get queued up sometimes.
And then there's the option that one of our anonymous Twitter commenters mentioned above, which is using a public bathroom. Now I can't speak for all public toilets out there, but I can tell you now, the ones here are pretty disgusting. They stink of pee and shit, they're dirty, and I'm sorry, but I'm just not feeding my child in there. Would you want eat there? No, didn't think so.

So where does that leave the average nursing mother? Well, honestly, after messing about with nursing rooms as a new mama, once I'd got confident with nursing and babe and I were at ease with latching on and all, I just started to nurse wherever I was. This way, I dont have to let my baby yell while I find a convenient spot that isn't already taken. I don't have to deal with the smells from public loos. I don't have to let my meal get cold in restaurant while I sit in the loo for 20 minutes eating while my friends get to eat theirs while it's hot and fresh. And, as a mother, I'm sorry, but my child's needs to come first, if my child needs feeding right then and there, I'm going to do it, avoiding upsetting a random person in the street or at the next table really isn't on my radar.

And what about blankets. Well, especially once your baby gets older, they get quite fussy about such things, and many won't nurse with a blanket over them. And, really, having a blanket on just draws attention to what you're doing anyway. The next thing of course is bottles, because some people think you should "just" bring a bottle of breastmilk, or formula, with you in case the baby wants to feed. This is also usually said by people who have not breastfed before. I will say this - Pumping breastmilk is a huge pain in the arse. It is. Before I had kids I used to think you just attached the pump and an unlimited amount of milk just came out. Um, no. You have to pump at certain times of day, train your body to produce extra, just so you can get enough to fill a bottle. Then, if you feed your baby a bottle of your expressed milk, you have to pump again as soon as possible to replace the feeding you just missed, otherwise you risk your supply dropping. It's so much easier just to well, nurse the baby straight from the tap. As for formula, well, that stuff's ridiculously expensive, and very much inferior to what my body makes for free. Mothering is difficult enough especially if you have more than one child, without going through all that rigmarole just to avoid upsetting someone else's delicate sensibilities when you're out and about.

Isn't breastfeeding in public indecent exposure? Well, actually, no. In America, almost every state has laws in place to protect breastfeeding mothers. Similar laws exist in other countries as well.

Why is all this important anyway? Well, UNICEF states that worldwide, six million lives are lost as a result of not breastfeeding. Contrary to popular opinion as well, the risk does not just apply to developing countries either. There are risks to using infant formula no matter where you live.
Yet, breastfeeding rates are shockingly low. Let's take the US for example. In 2003, 62% of women were exclusively breastfeeding at 7 days old, reducing to 14.2% at 6 months. Rates in the UK, where I live, are even worse, with only 35 per cent of UK babies are being exclusively breastfed at one week, 21 per cent at six weeks, 7 per cent at four months and 3 per cent at five months in 2005. This is especially sad when you consider that for optimum infant health is recommended that infants are exclusively breastfed up to 6 months before complementary foods are introduced. The vast majority still end up on formula, for a multitude of reasons, and societal pressures are just one of them. We should be encouraging women to breastfeed and removing social stigmas to breastfeeding, not putting up more barriers to them doing so.

So I ask. Please. If you see someone when you're out feeding their baby and it makes you feel awkward, which I understand, it's actually quite rare to see it especially around here (which is a shame, as breastfeeding has SO many benefits compared to feeding formula milk) Just look away. That is all. It really isn't hard. Thank you for reading.

Circumcision Bingo

2009-10-04T07:55:00.000-07:00

As promised to @cmantito!

This is Circumcision Bingo. Points to who guesses which tweet will come from @circinfo next.

My thoughts on #nestlefamily

2009-10-04T02:58:00.000-07:00

I've sat and watched a big drama unfold on Twitter over the past few days. Seems that Nestle invited a bunch of bloggers to LA, paid for their hotel/air fare and gave them the opportunity to ask questions and test products. Bloggers tweeted using the hashtag #nestlefamily leading up to, during and after the event.

However many of the bloggers attending the event have been criticised for not being aware of Nestle's chequered history regarding formula marketing, child labour and other issues. Annie at PhDinParenting sums up the problems many people have with Nestle that have led to there being an international boycott of their products that has been going on since the 1970s. Some tried to make it about breastfeeding versus formula, commenting that mothers in the Third World who are malnourished are unable to breastfeed their infants, and therefore Nestle is doing an honourable thing in giving them formula samples. This is, in most cases, not true. If Nestle really wanted to improve the health of people in developing countries they'd give food to the mothers, NOT formula to their infants.

I did see name calling on both sides of the #nestlefamily debate - but if I'm honest, I saw the worst offences coming from those defending Nestle, with the boycotters being called Nazis and Communists, at the same time making jokes about child labour and talking enthusiastically about cookie dough. Most of the bloggers attending were respectful to the cause but one thing that has bothered me is how so many took Nestle's responses at face value (see Lauredhel's critique of this) yet stated that sites like IBFAN and BabyMilkAction were biased and therefore not to be taken as an objective source. To this I would say - Who actually stands to benefit, financially? IBFAN and BabyMilkAction are non profit organisations.

On a positive note I feel this has brought a lot of attention to the boycott, which can only be a good thing!

Testing this out!

2009-10-04T02:28:00.000-07:00
Trying out a blogging app for my phone. Looks sweet so far but will it work!

-- Posted from my iPhone

Information on @Circinfo

2009-05-26T06:37:00.000-07:00

I am posting this here as it was originally posted on Pastebin, and therefore can be doctored and fully expect this to happen by a certain individual. So this is the original text in its entirety. Original author is @actualcircinfo on Twitter.
There's a chance that if you've ever raised his topic of (obsessional) interest you've received an unsolicited tweet from a user referring to himself as "Circinfo". As the odds are you have no idea it is I thought it might be valuable, as someone who's debated with him, to assemble what I know and think.

*Methods*

Circinfo operates by continuously running Twitter searches for words such as "circumcision", "circumcised", "foreskin" & so on. He then sends the person who used it a link to a website which purports to be balanced, but is in fact a circumcision advocacy outlet. The epitome of this shares his name ("Circinfo", although he claims no connection) has in its masthead a partially peeled banana being poked with a finger and wiggling. Not exactly the sort of place you can trust for reliable information regarding the health of your newborn.

This is the link which he distributed most regularly.

This would be a slightly unusual hobby, but it is what characterizes his behaviour in debate that makes him truly strange. Despite claiming to trust in science CI clearly has a very poor grasp of how it works: he simply ignores studies with findings contrary to his beliefs, brandishing those that support them as if you can cherry pick reality. This is quite an abuse of the scientific method, which demands repeatability. If there is mixed research (as there most certainly IS over this issue) a sound scientist would tend towards scepticism & not make bold claims, but CI is clearly more interested in reinforcing his view than reaching a dispassionate understanding.

Additional to this he is unaware of the rudiments of debating, apparently believing that snarkily reversing an argument into something which he agrees constitutes a rebuttal. Additionally he frequently using logical fallacies, such as the appeal to authority. Consequently it is impossible to engage in discussion with him without him introducing some degree of rancour. At his nadir he heavily mocked a clearly deeply traumatized child abuse victim, then refused to apologise.

*Motivation*

What is most interesting though is his favourite logical fallacy: the ad hominem. Despite knowing next to nothing about his targets CI proved persistently willing to make wild claims about them. Alleging that the aforementioned child abuse victim was in some conspiratorial way connected to me (in reality I didn't know the man, knew next to nothing about him & still do not). He has claimed that people who have never suggested state tactics against circumcision are somehow determined to curtail parental rights & generally imagined strawman positions easier to rebut.

Now perhaps I shouldn't be too surprised about this. It's quite possible that my expectations of internet debates is far too high minded. However, I like to expect the best from people, & although he's about average for a YouTube commenter CI is significantly less civil and rational than the standard Twitter user. CI left me deeply disappointed, not least when he presumed to know the sexual tastes of a set of complete strangers. The most presumptuous claim made was that his opponents were "foreskin fetishists". He seemed to truly believe that the only reason for disagreeing with him over the health status of foreskins was them being the sole source of sexual arousal for those who did so.

This is also perhaps the most revealing attack made by him, although as with most insults made towards strangers it tells more about the accuser than the accused. It seems likely to me that CI is suffering from what psychologists term "Projection". He himself is a man sexually fixated with circumcision, thus can only perceive those who disagree with his position as sufferers of the same condition, inverted. This explains his continual focus upon the issue & his evidence devoid claims to know others erotic predilections, something which would otherwise be inexplicable save if he was simply trying to smear his opponents. This is a non-falsifiable, of course, it is entirely possible that his purported motivation is correct (although as aforementioned, he knows far too little about the rudiments of science for his analyses to be trustworthy or the links he admires reliable).

But if I were a gambling man I would call my speculation a safe bet.

*Conclusion*

I would treat any links provided by this man with a good deal of caution. Remember that he is making a claim ("foreskin is unhealthy") & that as such the onus of evidence lies with him. Websites which exclude studies showing no correlation are easy to construct, as well as highly misleading. These are the ONLY kind of website to which CI reliably links to.

Lactivists to blame for woman's death?

2009-05-08T11:24:00.000-07:00

I read this article in the Daily Mail with disbelief yesterday.
Where to even start?
The caption on the photo for this article is "There are some mothers who instantly turn into Madonna and child." Well, no, actually. Speak to a bunch of breastfeeders and they will all tell you that breastfeeding is hard at first for pretty much everyone. Yes, it requires some perseverance. I have two children, my oldest being 4 years old (he was breastfed until 21 months) and my youngest is 26 months and still nursing on demand around the clock. Is nursing difficult in the early days? You bet. Is it worth it? Unequivocally, YES!!!! To the point where I have to hold myself back when talking to mothers to be about breastfeeding as I can get so passionate about it. It is, once past the first few difficult days/weeks when you are both learning how to do it, one of the best and most fulfilling things I have done in my life, something I am very proud of. It's a huge part of how I identify myself as a mother. It is far more than a choice of coke vs pepsi. And those of us that get past the initial hurdles to get to the payoffs see that.
I am yet to discover the "breastfeeding gestapo." I had a relatively easy time breastfeeding my first - 10 days of mildly sore nipples, then it went away and we had many months of blissful nursing ahead of us. Not really so with #2. To start with, he developed a belly button infection at 10 days old and we were informed at the hospital that he had lost weight from his 5 day weighin (where he was at 8lbs 1oz, down from 8lbs 4oz at birth) The record in Shay's red book from that day shows 7lbs 15oz, and we were told to start supplementing with formula after nursing every 3 hours, however I had quite a bit of expressed breastmilk in my freezer from pumping to relieve engorgement when my milk first came in so I attempted to bottlefeed 1oz of this after each feeding. Attempted. My son would have NOTHING to do with that bottle and screamed at me for trying. So, I rang my midwife the next day and told her I was going to be nursing him every 2 hours at least, more if he demanded it, but would be waking him to make sure he had at least this, but there would be no supplementation. Next day, she came around with the scales. Two days after being apparently 7lbs 15 oz my son weighed 9lbs even.
I don't think it is even possible for a child to gain over a pound in 2 days. We realised that the problem had been that in the hospital they had put the scale on a bed (Scales have to be placed on a spirit level surface to be accurate) and also the weight, in grams, was rounded down. So, what was an approximation was used to try and label my child as failure to thrive when there was nothing wrong with him. I had a doctor tell me that day that if my baby wanted to nurse more than every 4 hours then clearly I wasn't making enough milk for him, and that many mothers do not make enough milk for their children. When I argued back he called for backup and I had several of them arguing at me. Where was my breastfeeding gestapo then? Had I been a first time mother who had never breastfed before, I would have gone running straight to the formula, and been one of those women who say "I don't make enough milk."
Then at 5 weeks old, he for some reason started to scream through every feeding. This lasted until he was approx. 10 weeks and was hell on earth. I believe it was to do with introducing a dummy shortly before, as he would take that piece of plastic crap and I would have to quickly whip it out to insert my boob or he wouldn't eat. I rang the breastfeeding helpline when it all started and I was about ready to lose my mind and was told I would get a call back. Which I didn't, for FIVE DAYS. By the time I finally did, I had been all over the internet looking for a solution, and finally figured out swaddling really helped, so I did this until he grew out of the phase. Of course, I got lots of "helpful" advice from family/friends "Just give him a bottle!!!!" It was a bank holiday weekend, as it always is when you need help and can't get anyone.
This is the problem we have - It's not lactivists, it's a lack of support for mothers when they need it most that I personally blame for this woman's death. She needed help, and that help was lacking. To blame people who are there to help people breastfeed because they don't tell women to try a bottle is ridiculous.
While a lot of mums do mix feed (breastmilk and formula) whether we like it or not, the best way to get breastfeeding off the ground and be successful with it is to stick with it and avoid all bottles. Why? Because a) Some babies will develop a preference for the bottle as it's easier to get at the milk that way and b) every bottle you give, you're telling your body to make less milk, leading to supply problems down the road UNLESS you pump (And even then you still risk your supply because a pump is not as good as a baby at extracting the milk.) I was in a group of mothers when Shay was born who all had babies born in Feb 2007 and a ton of them mixed fed when their babies were tiny. Almost all of them weaned early stating "low milk supply" or "baby preferred bottle" as the reason.
So, yeah. I'm very sad for this mother's death as it was entirely preventable. Breastfeeding counsellors are usually unpaid volunteers who donate their time and experience to help others. To blame them is cheap and wrong when we should be looking at drafting MORE support to help women where is is clearly needed.

Swine Flu

2009-05-03T03:37:00.000-07:00

Absolute VS Relative Risk Reduction

2009-04-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

I've noticed a definite trend with pro circumcisers and statistics. Now as we all know, you can twist statistics to mean pretty much anything you want, and one way to do it is by using absolute and relative risks when it suits you. So, with circumcision, use absolute risk when you're talking about complications of circumcision (and take the smallest possible figure) Then when talking about the potential benefits, use relative risks. Because, when you're talking about a very, very small number, using relative risk makes your gain look MUCH bigger.
Take HIV, as the press is really pushing the alleged link with circumcision at the moment after the 3 Africa studies. Apparently, the studies showed a 60% reduction in HIV acquisition in the 2 years after voluntary, adult circumcision. Note the latter part, as that is all it does show, since the studies were halted early we do not yet know if circumcision has an effect beyond that, and it is quite possible that the effect becomes lesser as time goes on (Observation of country prevalence of HIV certainly does not bear out that circumcision affects HIV, see the CIA Factbook for that. Note that the United States is right up there as one of the most HIV ridden countries despite around 80% of adult males currently being circumcised there)
The important point is though in terms of absolute vs relative risk reduction is what is the actual risk of catching HIV? Now, I'll admit that I always thought if you had sex with an HIV positive person you had a nigh on 100% chance of catching it. So, I'd forgive people for taking these figures as - 100% chance with unprotected sex, 40% chance with circumcision with the 60% risk reduction, and around 1% with a condom. Schoen touches on the actual risk factor mentioning a figure of 1 in 300, but does not elaborate on what this actually means.
First off where does this figure actually come from? Is he referring to the chance of contracting HIV when having sex with an HIV positive person, or the risk overall of a heterosexual male contracting the disease? It isn't at all clear, and it really seems to me that he simply cherry picked the best possible stat to meet his needs. A blanket "1 in 300" means very little, because risk of transmission varies by country due to HIV prevalence, and of course viral load in the individual can vary. Some conditions like genital ulcers can make the risk of transmission higher.
I've heard a lot of parents who circumcise their children state that they want their child to have an extra layer of protection for the "just in case" scenario if a condom breaks or whatever. Sounds very reasonable, until you look at the actual probability of this occurring.
This excellent post by Fellow Traveller at Mothering.com spells it out rather well. Quote:
"We'll start the estimate that the chance of infection is 0.06% a bit higher than published in the Lancet article. That means a male having unprotected sex with an HIV positive woman has about a bit more than 1 in 1800 chance of being infected. Base line risk intact men vs circumcised men 1 heterosexual contact with an HIV+ partner.

[1 - 0.0006]^1 99.94% ~= 0.06%
[1 - 0.0006 * 0.5]^1 ~= 99.97% ~= 0.03%

But the HIV distribution in the US population is about 5 in 1000 or 1/200 so, in general, there is only a 1 in 200 chance that one will encounter someone who is HIV positive. Actually, the risk is much lower but we'll discuss that in a bit. Given that the HIV prevalence in the general population is about 1/200, a closer estimate of the risk of becoming HIV infected after the 1 random heterosexual encounters is more like:

The chance of event A (encountering an HIV positive individual in the general population) * the chance of event B the likely hood of getting infected during that encounter.

1/200 * 0.0006 = 0.000003 --- 1 - 0.000003 = 99.9997% = 0.0003%
1/200 * 0.0003 = 0.000006 --- 1 - 0.0000015 = 99.99985% = 0.00015%

Now, the number of sexual encounters is important too. For 1,000 encounters, the difference is 1.5 hundredths of a percent. That's is what circumcision bought you, big deal. Over the course of 1,000 random encounters, on average, an intact guy in the US has 1.5 hundredths of a percent larger chance of becoming HIV positive. Circumcised guys, party on!"
So - parents are being given the information that circumcision will reduce their child's risk of HIV acquisition by 60%, but fail to mention that the actual risk of their child a) coming into contact with an HIV positive partner b) condom failing and c) contracting the virus is a tiny, tiny, fraction. A 60% reduction of a miniscule base is still miniscule.
It's also worth looking at the British response to this article here:
"Dr Colm O'Mahony, a sexual health expert from the Countess of Chester Foundation Trust Hospital in Chester, said the US had an "obsession" with circumcision being the answer to controlling sexually transmitted infections.

He said: "Sure, a dry skinned penis is a bit less likely to contract HIV, herpes and possibly genital warts but it will get infected eventually."

Twitter and Breastfeeding..

2009-04-26T12:07:00.000-07:00
Recently I've joined Twitter - well the point was for me to combat certain pro-circ folks posting there as one particular individual was using it to "tweet" new parents trying to convince them to cut their kids. (Creepy.) Anyway, a few days after and it's pretty addictive. Meeting new mama friends and I'm generally wittering on about rubbish to anyone who seems vaguely interested.

The AP community seems pretty strong. Lots of like minded people. Life is good.

And then - someone posts a link to that infamous "Breastfeeding at 8" video. As if this hasn't been posted a million times over on the internet and every single time it comes up, a huge flame war erupts, people get nasty, others get upset, etcetcetc. Been there, seen it a million times. I should never have got involved. But, I tweeted that as far as I am concerned, people should just let others live their lives, as long as they're not hurting their kids, who really cares.

This is where a certain lady who had followed me due to a few tweets on #flylady got really upset and started sending me about 10 tweets per minute (or so it seemed) on how morally corrupt I am, how I don't teach my children right from wrong, and how this makes me a terrible parent. This particular lady apparently weaned her baby as soon as he could walk, because apparently it's morally wrong to breastfeed a child after this point. At one point she brought my obvious stance on circumcision into the mix.

Now, get this straight. I am openly against infant circumcision. I post links about it, blog posts I find interesting (Much the same as I do breastfeeding, vax or other stuff) I will combat blatant misinformation I see posted about. If someone posts something like "what do you think about circumcision" I'll give my input. But I don't tweet people and insult them/their decisions and attack their moral fibre. Circumcision is also different from breastfeeding in that there are no damaging effects from breastfeeding. It has no risks attached. The benefits from breastfeeding are diverse and well documented, while with circumcision there are pretty much equal information on both sides of the argument (which is why, to me, it is more of an ethical issue. People should be given the chance to say whether they have healthy body parts removed, or not. The AAP states that the medical benefits of circumcision do not outweigh the risks therefore it is a cosmetic/cultural issue.)

As for breastfeeding - it is recommended, universally, for the first two years and beyond, as per the WHO and various other organisations. We've seen a few opinion pieces slating it lately (eg Hanna Rosin) But this does not change the fact that breastfeeding ultimately promotes optimal child health. Extended, or to use the term I prefer, "full term" breastfeeding, is attacked by some prudish types who see it as somehow incestuous and psychologically damaging. This is ridiculous. There have never been any studies on it proving psychological damage due to breastfeeding. However, the list of studies proving benefits to continuing the breastfeeding relationship is extensive.
I have noticed that people who did not breastfeed, or who breastfed for a short time, tend to be very vocal about others not judging them for their choices, yet will happily dish it out when it comes to us full term breastfeeding mothers. I don't go around randomly saying to formula feeding mothers that they are bad parents and made bad decisions. I don't personally do formula, but I get that other people have the right to decide for themselves. Lactivism is not about personally attacking others - it's about helping breastfeeding mothers by getting better support, campaigning for better breastfeeding in public laws, etc.
The final straw really in this particular discourse was that she commented that breast is best "but only until children can get nutrition from other foods". This is one thing that bothers me - people really think that if you're breastfeeding a child they're not eating anything else? My toddler is allergic to dairy, so he drinks my milk like he might have cows milk, an occasional and comforting drink with the bonus that it's attached to mama and he gets a cuddle at the same time.
And then, there's the people that say "After XX years, why not pump and give it to them IN A CUP!" I am sure the people saying this have never, ever pumped. Pumping sucks. You have to pump regularly to ensure you will get a decent amount of milk each time. It's time consuming, and soul destroying. I did everything I could to try and ensure I didn't have to pump with my second son - including negotiating work hours that would enable me to nurse before and after work without having to have a pumping break in between. Why would I want to give up the cuddling closeness that comes with nursing (it's a fabulous way to connect with a toddler who is generally too busy for hugs otherwise) and replace that with attaching myself to a plastic device multiple times a day, just so to not offend other people's delicate sensibilities?